


Visitors: Pirithous and Theseus

by Goldielochs



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: Based of original myth, Cerberus is no help, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Persephone is actually the bad bitch boss though, When two drunk dudes try to steal yo gurl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-16 04:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20193817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldielochs/pseuds/Goldielochs
Summary: This is a little different. Wanted to write a little story about one of the other popular mythological events including Hades and Persephone. Like what is up with people wanting to kidnap Persephone? Anyway. Hope you enjoy.





	Visitors: Pirithous and Theseus

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading! I haven't written anything new in awhile. Work has taken up every once of my creativity. Still, I'm glad I have such a wide backlog I can keep posting old things for a bit. lol I don't think I have any more rated M content though in then backlog. Sorry folks. :( TBFH with you, I'm very shy about smut.

Russell pulled on the leash. His paws scratched along the pavement and his breath came out in gasps until he was nearly coughing, strangling himself against his harness. Hades rolled his eyes and stopped walking until Russell settled down, but he only strained harder.

"For Gaia's sake. What's gotten into you?" Hades bent down and picked Russell up who then proceeded to squirm. "Listen. Just because Persephone isn't here this week doesn't mean you get to go back to misbehaving." Russell perked up at Persephone's name, ears pointing up. His beady eyes looked up at Hades hopefully. Then a moment later Russell's ears flattened again. His snout scowled into a snarl and Hades felt a low growl begin to build under his fingers in Russell's chest.

"If you tear up the couch before Persephone returns tomorrow, I swear to. . . " Hades thought for a moment and then gave up. Big John sat patiently at Hades side. But the fur on her back was raised too. "Big John?" Then Hades looked down at Fudge. Whose tail whacked happily, nonplussed and unaware.

Hades doesn't normally fancy taking his dogs on walks, but lets them run around his estate. However, this week with the absence of his wife Persephone he's been having a hard time distracting himself from the gnawing void of loneliness. When he closes his eyes he sees pink. So now he takes his dogs on frequent walks, just to do something. He takes them a few at a time. He has a system for it so the misbehaving ones wouldn't be lumped together.

Persephone would be coming home tomorrow. Tomorrow. Hades heart pounded just thinking about it. Worried that as the seconds ticked on, getting closer, he would drown in agony and somehow time would stop all together as a cruel joke from the universe.

She kissed him goodbye last week. Her lips were so tender. One hand on his chest, the other on the bags packed for the mortal realm. "I'll return." She promised. Those tender lips etched her oath under his jawline. Hades barely let her go if not for that promise.

Her absences were becoming more and more frequent as her duties to Spring and the surface world demanded her. The underworld felt even colder without its Queen and Hades dogs had never gotten so much exercise.

Fudge sniffed at the ground. And then a terrible whine escaped from her small snout and she pawed at Hades joggers.

"Listen, I miss her too but you don't have to-" Hades rounded the corner hedge leading up to his manor. "Be upset." He finished in a daze and set Russell down very slowly. Taking in the full scene, Hades cocked his head to the side. Two men. Human. Two human men. Two human living men were throwing rocks at his upstairs windows. Their forms were solid, not like the shades that resided in his kingdom. Bottles of ale hung loosely in their hands.

"AAAAyyyyye!" One of them yelled. His voice slurred with liquor. "Knock knock!"

The other human laughed. His face red. His legs gave out and he sat in Hades driveway. "Open up." He giggled. The other one chuckled along with him.

"What's so funny?"

The men snapped their necks around to see Hades the King of the Underworld staring down at them with red glowing eyes. By his side were three dogs, distrust in their body language.

The man on the ground gulped and turned to the other.

"Hm?" Hades continued. "I like to laugh. So please. Tell me. What's the joke?"

"You must be Hades." The mortal stepped forward with his hand out. "I'm Pirithous. That's my mate, Theseus." A dumb grin spread across his face, spurred on by the alcohol that Hades could nearly taste on his breath.

"Charmed." Hades blinked, completely underwhelmed so far. "What are you doing on my property?"

Theseus hiccuped from the ground. "We've come to steal your wife." He said it so matter of factly, like they were providing a commercial service.

Pirithous nodded in agreement. "Yeah, yeah."

"My wife?" Hades' eyebrow arched. His tone as dry as bones. How dare they mention her.

"We'll be out of your hair in no time, we just have to get what we came for and then we'll be on our way." Pirithous explained reasonably, folding his hands in front of him.

"And you came for my wife." Hades clarified.

"Yes." They both nodded.

"Persephone."

"That's the one."

Hades eyed them a second more. He stared down at Fudge who's tail whapped happily at his attention. They've come to take Persephone away from him. Then Hades' lips twisted up devilishly. "But of course." Hades opened his arms in a welcoming gesture and nodded towards his door. "Persephone's somewhere inside. Please, come in."

"This is the hall of victory." Hades guided them through his home like they'd purchased tickets. Helmets, swords, and tokens of victory were displayed on both sides of the hallway with low level lighting and luxurious display cases. "The battles of Olympia. You know." He laughed curtly. "As my brothers would call them, the glory days." As they made their way through the hall of victory he spied Persephone's addition on a pedestal. It almost looked like a purple leather glove, but the dried ichor at the bottom gave it away. The hand of Apollo. With a swiping finality, she'd cut it off with her scythe. He grinned proudly. The first blood drawn by the Dread Queen. "I like to think I'm currently in the glory days right now though."

"Ahem." One of the mortals coughed. "Perhaps Persephone is in the kitchen or doing laundry?"

Hades blinked. "Why would-." He frowned again. "You're right." His voice layered with sarcasm. "Perhaps my helpless little wife is doing her chores like a good respectful obedient woman." Hades had to stop himself from laughing at the thought of this subservient goddess these men had cooked up in their brain. Is that what they wanted? A defenceless damsel in distress for them to rescue? A goddess who would be so grateful for two drunken mortals rescuing her from the confines of her marriage with the Underworld she would resign herself to household chores.

"This way to the kitchen." Hades marched onwards. "Mmm. Smells like she's been baking." It was true, the scent of unmistakable freshly made cookies wafted in from the room at the end of the corridor.

"Persephone!" Hades called. "My poor sad wife. I have good news. Humans have come to rescue you from me." Pirithous and Theseus bounded into the kitchen getting amped up. They posed as if they rehearsed this moment. Hades paced around the empty kitchen. "Persephone?" He played dumb and put his finger to his chin. "Well. Where could she be?"

The mortals faltered in their galant poses. Pirithous lunged forward to the counter where a plate of warm cookies sat tantalizing. He scooped one up into his hand and said while munching on it, "Perhaps she is drawing water at the well."

"Mmm." Hades nodded. His lips twitched as Pirithous took another cookie for himself. They were actually dog biscuits he was making for Big John's fussy stomach. "The well. Good thought. Because we definitely don't have plumbing here."

"Plumbing?" Theseus eyed the 'cookies' but thought against it.

"Don't worry about it." Hades rolled his eyes. "Come on. Perhaps your prize is outside."

Hades lead them around the grounds. The mortals shivered in the colder air. A parade of dogs followed them from inside. Scratches followed after them and low growls haunted them as they continued their tour. "So, Piri." Hades arched his eyebrow as he looked down at the mortals who tripped over themselves to keep up. "Mind if I call you Piri?" He continued quickly without waiting for a response. "It's quite impressive you broke into the Underworld." He eyed them again in their drunken stupor. An acidic taste hitting the back of his tongue. "So I do wonder." Hades continued to march on, closer to the ridge overlooking the city. The stepping stones Persephone placed for the trail here matched her small foot falls. It reminded him to walk slower, his feet covered the stones completely but he didn't skip a single one. For a brief moment he forgot about the mortals. Instead the memory of her arm clenched around his during their morning walks. They couldn't watch the sunrise together here, but Persephone herself lit the underworld like a sun. Hades sighed. "So tell me." He nodded and the memory of Persephone faded away again, replaced by the splotchy faces of the men come to steal her away. "How did you get past my security?" If Cerberus was to be doing his job correctly, these men would be torn to shreds between his three heads.

"The monster?" Pirithous scratched the back of his scalp. Hades frowned at the term.

"Does he live?" Hades eyed the horizon, red eyes glowing under half closed lids. Holding righteous anger just below the surface. Monster? They don't know the meaning of monster.

"Oh sure." Piri nodded. "We didn't fight that beast, if that's what you mean."

Hades audibly sighed in relief. Like an open dam, the lake of fury drained back into a gentler river. For now.

Theseus pushed Piri to the side. "Oh yeah. We chucked 2 whole racks of ribs to the side and ran."

Hades clicked his mouth and touched his hand to his forehead. Cerberus would be so gassy later. Great. Stupid dog.

"You're lucky to have gotten here alive." Hades half smiled. "Though most people don't." He took a moment to enjoy his joke, but it was lost on the men. "Well. Persephone!" He turned around and called to his wife who wasn't there. "Persephone!" He turned back to the men and shrugged. "Oh. I know. Let me just call her."

"Call?"

Hades pulled out his phone and pressed the speed dial for her. Her picture came up on his phone.

"What is that?" Theseus stepped closer in awe at the shining glowing box.

"It's. . . uh. . ." Hades faltered. "A magic scrying. . . tablet." He came up with quickly. Persephone wouldn't answer, and he knew it. No modern devices were allowed in the mortal realm. Still, he thought she'd get a kick out of this voice-mail when she returned. The ring tone completely had the men in awe. Mortals were so very stupid. And so easily mesmerized.

Then suddenly Persephone's face appeared, a blurry pixelated pink until the signal got better. "Hades?" She smiled and blue petals grew on her crown, twisting along the spindles.

Hades nearly dropped his phone in surprise. "Persephone." He gasped in delight and surprise. He turned his phone away so that the men couldn't look at her. They didn't deserve to.

Husband and wife took just a moment to look at each other. Words passed between them in silence they could never fully express aloud. Before Persephone could offer an explanation of her handling technology, Hades shifted and straightened out his collar.

"Ms. Persephone." He threw on a weird voice, hoping that Persephone would pick up on it. "Are you or are you not in my palace?"

"Your palace?" Persephone raised her eyebrows. "And um no, you know that-"

Hades continued on hurriedly, using speed to heighten his faux anger. "It is downright unacceptable for you to leave these grounds without my permission."

"Permission?" Persephone balked, red started to color her eyes but then she saw a devilish blue wink. "Yes sir." She nodded, playing along. "My apologies your majesty. It won't happen again." She wasn't sure what was happening or if this was some type of sexy role play. She kind of liked it.

"It is extremely unbecoming of a young woman to be so independent."

Okay. Less sexy.

"Isn't that right?" Hades looked down at Pirithous and Theseus. "You see, my small helpless wife, we have visitors." He switched the camera back facing so she could see them.

"Oh!" Persephone laughed and she covered it up with some coughing. "Oh. My deepest regrets. And what, pray tell, do we owe the honor of this visit from these fine handsome mortal men."

"It is favorable that you think they handsome, as my dear, they have come to rescue you, to steal you away from your dark cold husband."

"Ah." Persephone bit her lip to keep her from laughing. "Such a pity that I, a reckless woman, abandoned my post and my womanly duties, or else I could have been saved from your savagery."

No. No. This was still kind of sexy.

The men bumped their elbows together. It was after all, a good deed they were doing. And definitely not a selfish idea that had come to them just moments before they headed out for their journey.

"My fearsome husband." Persephone sighed. "I can't keep this connection much longer. But please," Her voice lowered and gods bless it that only Hades could see her expression. "Do have them wait for my return." Her eyes flashed red and a devilish smirk that outmatched Hades' cracked across her cheek. Hades moaned a little. He bit his fist and nodded.

Persephone blew a kiss into the camera. She mouthed, "I love you." And the call ended.

He sighed and turned back to the view of the city. "Well. You heard her. Let's wait." He patted the bed of rock beside him. "Come on, sit." His vibrant blue skin began to darken. "You've traveled a long way. Rest. Have a seat. Relax. Your prize will come to you." He clapped a hand on Pirithous' shoulder, sinking him further down into the rock. Hades pointed out towards the city center. "It's a good view. Isn't it? What do you think? Not many people with a beating heart like you see it. What do you think of it?"

The men followed his gaze and nodded like chums. "Looks nice." They stated. "Yeah, very . . . shiny. I uh I well, uh I like it."

"Good." Hades smiled, jagged teeth exposed from his dark midnight colored skin. The men started to feel nervous. The chill in the air caused goose bumps to raise on their skin. "I'm glad you like the view." Hades stood up slowly, dusting off his robe. "You'll be here for quite awhile."

Hades pivoted around back towards his mansion. "Ta-ta." He waved at the mortals.

"Wait." Theseus twisted back to Hades."Wait." He tried to prop himself back up but he couldn't. "WAIT!" He yelled.

Pirithous too tried to stand back up, but his legs were firmly cemented into the sheet of rock they sat on. "No." Pirithous shook his head. He laid his hand beside him to wrench himself off, but then his hand got stuck. "No." His other hand flayed beside him and too became conjoined with the stone. 'NO!"

Hades chuckled as they continued to scream behind him. "You really underestimated me." He called to them. "And even more dangerous, you really underestimated my wife."

Hades opened the door and his dogs joined his side immediately. "Come on Big John. I have some treats for you." He ruffled her fur and they trotted back to the kitchen, a new bounce in his step. "That's a good girl." He bent down and scratched behind Big John's ear as she lapped up the dog biscuit. "Alright." He he stood back up. "Whose turn is it next for a dog walk?" He eyed the rest of his doggy crew. They wagged their tails happily at their dad.

It would be a long time for Persephone to return. He took solace in the fact that he wasn't the only one agonizingly waiting.


End file.
